Back in 2015, when The Boyfriend Algorithm first hit the virtual shelves (as Lost in Geeklandia), the Keysmash blog hosted me during release week. Since both The Boyfriend Algorithm and Clickbait (the second book in the Geeklandia series) are available in KU now, I thought I’d dust off this post in all its geeky glory.
The Geeklandia gang are card-carrying members of a number of fandoms (which I might have a passing acquaintance with myself), and I mashed up Keysmash’s Snog/Marry/BFF post format with three of their main oeuvres: Star Trek, Star Wars, and Doctor Who.
The captains: Snog Solo, Marry Sisko, BFF Picard.
I like my action heroes with a side of dork, but the Solo swagger gets a little old after a while.
Sisko, now. That man is all about family. He gives world-class hugs. And he can cook. No contest–he’s definitely the marrying kind.
Picard would make the perfect BFF. We’re both private people, so he wouldn’t intrude on my space, but when we arranged to get together, the conversation would be fantastic. With tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
Note: Captain Jack Harkness isn’t on this list because I can’t even think of him without Ianto.
The officers: Snog Dax, Marry Spock, BFF Chewbacca.
You can’t count on a Trill to be around for the long haul, since they’re forbidden from contacting prior partners when they change hosts, so marriage with Jadzia is out. But for the short term, yeah, because that twinkle in her eye is irresistible.
Spock. Sigh. Marrying the quintessential Vulcan with the human heart has been my fantasy since I saw the very first broadcast episode in 1966. The dream still lives, so there.
Chewbacca is the ultimate BFF sidekick. He’ll always have your back, even if it means walking into Jabba the Hutt’s lair in handcuffs. Plus, you’d never have to worry about him borrowing your shoes.
The Doctors: Snog the Ninth, Marry the Fourth, BFF the Eleventh.
Christopher Eccleston didn’t get much Whovian love, but he was less squirrelly than the Tenth or Eleventh Doctors. He could focus – a valued trait in a snogging partner.
Tom Baker had that whole adorable Harpo Marx vibe going, which I’ve always loved. He’s tall enough to reach stuff on the top shelf, so he’s a good man to have around the house.
As for Matt Smith… Come on, who’s more fun? The way he danced at Amy and Rory’s wedding? He’d be a total kick to hang with. Plus, five words: “Amelia Pond, get your coat.” He’ll always come back for you. We’d have to talk about the bow tie thing, though.
The sidecars: Snog Martha Jones, Marry River Song, BFF Craig, father of Alfie (aka Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All)
My snogging choice is probably cheating, because it’s not based on Freema Agyeman’s stint on Dr. Who, but, OMG, have you seen Sense8? To quote Nomi: “Your lips are amazing.”
I know there’s a lot of River-haters out there, but hello, Sweetie: this a woman who Gets Shit Done. If I were to say, “Honey, the garbage disposal is on the fritz again,” she’d kick total appliance ass. Maybe she’d use the vortex manipulator to fetch an unbreakable garbage disposal or arrange with the Doctor to transport us to a time and place where garbage disposals never break. Her solution might not be the simplest or least extreme in terms of collateral damage, but at the end of the day? Problem solved.
At first blush, Craig might seem too needy for a BFF, but the guy is bone-deep loyal. Not to mention he rose above his self-confidence issues and broke out of Cyberman transformation to rescue his baby. That took serious cojones.
What about you? How do you feel about these trios? Or do you have other choices from these universes? I’d love to hear about them.